Saturday, February 15, 2020
I had a dream about mom last night. I was at home with mom and dad and mom made dinner. Then I was at a mall and thinking about coming home around 9 pm. Then I was in a car with mom, but I realized that mom was driving on the wrong side of the road as we were approaching our intersection. The car turned into a bike and we were walking together. I saw some neighbours working in their yard. I got mom to put her arm around my shoulder because I wanted her to get warmth from me because she wasn't wearing a coat. I was pushing the bicycle. I thought about mom cooking and realized how dangerous it was for her to be doing that with her Alzheimer's and then I realized it was a dream.
It was weird because dad was there, mom doesn't drive, etc.
Saturday, 15 February 2020
St. Michael's Celebration of Life
January 29th, 2020
It was supposed to be Jan. 22, but that was the day of the big snow. The university was closed. Nao fell and broke her wrist. Tae had gone to St. Michael's with a friend and found out when she arrived that the service had been cancelled. She hadn't seen the e-mails from Naomi and me.
I think I went to visit Nao and Tae on Saturday, January 25th. I went in the early afternoon. We played Scrabble. I brought them each a loaf of the heavy Ukranian sourdough bread. We had dinner together.
On Wednesday, Jan. 29th, I went to the Celebration of Life Service. Seven people had passed away including mom and Shanta. The Chinese man that passed away a week before mom had been an electrician. The old woman who was 103 used to be a nurse. She had a memory board. The guy at St. Michael's said I could only bring a photo. There wasn't even any place to put it. I had wanted to do a slide show presentation. Jackie said a few words for most of the people who had passed. Donna was there with her sister and a friend. I think her friend was Kathy. I felt emotional when I saw Donna. I sat a bit with them before I left. I saw Donna wanted to eat her cookie, but she couldn't reach and she wasn't really sure if it was her cookie and coffee. I pushed the cookie and coffee closer to her and she was happy.
After the service, I went to Metrotown and walked around. Then, I went to Tae's place for dinner and Scrabble. Naomi was back from San Diego. Nao had had her cast changed. She said it was very painful and she had screamed. Tae made oden.
I went to visit Tae again on Saturday, February 1st to work on the thank you cards to Japan. Poor Tae. I was there from 1:30 to 8:30 p.m. Tae said that after her aneurysm, she had double vision, but that she could see clearly if she closed one eye. She handwrote and translated each letter. It was a lot of work. I treated her to futomaki at Sushi Garden for dinner.
It was supposed to be Jan. 22, but that was the day of the big snow. The university was closed. Nao fell and broke her wrist. Tae had gone to St. Michael's with a friend and found out when she arrived that the service had been cancelled. She hadn't seen the e-mails from Naomi and me.
I think I went to visit Nao and Tae on Saturday, January 25th. I went in the early afternoon. We played Scrabble. I brought them each a loaf of the heavy Ukranian sourdough bread. We had dinner together.
On Wednesday, Jan. 29th, I went to the Celebration of Life Service. Seven people had passed away including mom and Shanta. The Chinese man that passed away a week before mom had been an electrician. The old woman who was 103 used to be a nurse. She had a memory board. The guy at St. Michael's said I could only bring a photo. There wasn't even any place to put it. I had wanted to do a slide show presentation. Jackie said a few words for most of the people who had passed. Donna was there with her sister and a friend. I think her friend was Kathy. I felt emotional when I saw Donna. I sat a bit with them before I left. I saw Donna wanted to eat her cookie, but she couldn't reach and she wasn't really sure if it was her cookie and coffee. I pushed the cookie and coffee closer to her and she was happy.
After the service, I went to Metrotown and walked around. Then, I went to Tae's place for dinner and Scrabble. Naomi was back from San Diego. Nao had had her cast changed. She said it was very painful and she had screamed. Tae made oden.
I went to visit Tae again on Saturday, February 1st to work on the thank you cards to Japan. Poor Tae. I was there from 1:30 to 8:30 p.m. Tae said that after her aneurysm, she had double vision, but that she could see clearly if she closed one eye. She handwrote and translated each letter. It was a lot of work. I treated her to futomaki at Sushi Garden for dinner.
Tuesday, 21 January 2020
Another dream
I think I had the dream on either Tuesday or Wednesday night Jan 14 or 15th. I regret not mentioning it to anyone. Now I've forgotten it.
I think mom and I were on the skytrain, maybe going to an event.
We were happy.
I think mom and I were on the skytrain, maybe going to an event.
We were happy.
Tuesday, 24 December 2019
Visit
Monday, December 23, 2019
I visited St. Michael's for the first time since November 29th. I was okay. I met a Chinese lady who sold Charlene a light up umbrella. She was there with her family. She was wearing a black fur coat and fancy glasses. She had just received her husbands ashes and they had just returned from a burial ceremony at Woodlawn. She was also there to deliver sweets. I brought cookies and chocolates.
I went to mom's room. I didn't check if anyone was in mom's space.
I saw Donna, Jackie, Zorka and Joan. I sat with Jackie for Bingo. Then, I sat with Donna. Mom had $30 in winnings which I donated to the Bingo jackpot.
Donna looked good. She was sitting upright and seemed coherent.
Zorka was sitting in her wheelchair as was Joan.
Michael won the big jackpot in Bingo. $13.00.
I had coffee and a cookie with Donna, Norman and another woman. I remember she liked mom.
I didn't see the Chinese lady. I will have to visit again.
I saw Ming. I gave him a large deck of cards.
I visited St. Michael's for the first time since November 29th. I was okay. I met a Chinese lady who sold Charlene a light up umbrella. She was there with her family. She was wearing a black fur coat and fancy glasses. She had just received her husbands ashes and they had just returned from a burial ceremony at Woodlawn. She was also there to deliver sweets. I brought cookies and chocolates.
I went to mom's room. I didn't check if anyone was in mom's space.
I saw Donna, Jackie, Zorka and Joan. I sat with Jackie for Bingo. Then, I sat with Donna. Mom had $30 in winnings which I donated to the Bingo jackpot.
Donna looked good. She was sitting upright and seemed coherent.
Zorka was sitting in her wheelchair as was Joan.
Michael won the big jackpot in Bingo. $13.00.
I had coffee and a cookie with Donna, Norman and another woman. I remember she liked mom.
I didn't see the Chinese lady. I will have to visit again.
I saw Ming. I gave him a large deck of cards.
Saturday, 21 December 2019
Dream
Saturday, Dec. 21, 2019
I dreamed about mom last night. We were at an event. We were standing on the bus. Mom started humming a tune. I recognized the tune. I thought that mom's short-term memory was functioning. Then, I realized it was a dream. I cried.
I dreamed about mom last night. We were at an event. We were standing on the bus. Mom started humming a tune. I recognized the tune. I thought that mom's short-term memory was functioning. Then, I realized it was a dream. I cried.
Saturday, 30 November 2019
Picking up mom's stuff
Friday, November 29, 2019
I took the day off. I wrote an e-mail to Japan. I wrote e-mails to friends. I talked to someone at the funeral home regarding details of the cremation. Chris came over around 9:40 and we picked out an urn for mom and a backup. Chris treated me to breakfast. We went to St. Michael's to clean out mom's room. The adaptive clothing, St. Michael's was happy to take. I left other stuff on the counter as well. We had 2 large garbage bags and two smaller bags of stuff.
I gave the Chinese lady mom's pink giraffe. We cried together. I left mom's lap blanket for Jackie. A lot of the staff gave me a hug and I thanked them for looking after mom.
I went to Finance to check and see if there was anything I had to do.
I saw Ming and I gave him and hug and thanked him and burst into tears. Embarrassing. Chris put his arm around me. Chris dropped me off.
Ethel came over with cookies. She read over the contract from the funeral home. Everything looked in order. I signed it electronically and sent it off. I mentioned the part in the contract about not receiving the ashes and Certificate of Death for 10-14 days. It seemed long. I thought the Gotos had their funeral about a week later. Ethel said she didn't remember an urn so I thought maybe a photo would be sufficient.
Ethel talked about how she thought an MC was a good idea. Choices for MC: Frank Seki, Steve Kamachi, Colleen Goto? Ethel volunteered to be a greeter and collect envelopes. I thought Steve would be a good person to make a speech about mom. Charlene could do a speech about mom's history with Sumi and Aunti Reiko. Sumi could sing a song. Ethel thought maybe Carol could pick up sushi.
Charlene came over after dinner. She suggested places to hold the Celebration of Life. She strongly preferred the Queensborough Community Centre. I felt it would take more work to organize something there. We would need audio-visual equipment for karaoke, speeches and a slide show.
The other place we considered was Kearny. Charlene helped me to sort through the bags of mom's belongings. She took some away to go to thrift stores and for a toy drive.
I took the day off. I wrote an e-mail to Japan. I wrote e-mails to friends. I talked to someone at the funeral home regarding details of the cremation. Chris came over around 9:40 and we picked out an urn for mom and a backup. Chris treated me to breakfast. We went to St. Michael's to clean out mom's room. The adaptive clothing, St. Michael's was happy to take. I left other stuff on the counter as well. We had 2 large garbage bags and two smaller bags of stuff.
I gave the Chinese lady mom's pink giraffe. We cried together. I left mom's lap blanket for Jackie. A lot of the staff gave me a hug and I thanked them for looking after mom.
I went to Finance to check and see if there was anything I had to do.
I saw Ming and I gave him and hug and thanked him and burst into tears. Embarrassing. Chris put his arm around me. Chris dropped me off.
Ethel came over with cookies. She read over the contract from the funeral home. Everything looked in order. I signed it electronically and sent it off. I mentioned the part in the contract about not receiving the ashes and Certificate of Death for 10-14 days. It seemed long. I thought the Gotos had their funeral about a week later. Ethel said she didn't remember an urn so I thought maybe a photo would be sufficient.
Ethel talked about how she thought an MC was a good idea. Choices for MC: Frank Seki, Steve Kamachi, Colleen Goto? Ethel volunteered to be a greeter and collect envelopes. I thought Steve would be a good person to make a speech about mom. Charlene could do a speech about mom's history with Sumi and Aunti Reiko. Sumi could sing a song. Ethel thought maybe Carol could pick up sushi.
Charlene came over after dinner. She suggested places to hold the Celebration of Life. She strongly preferred the Queensborough Community Centre. I felt it would take more work to organize something there. We would need audio-visual equipment for karaoke, speeches and a slide show.
The other place we considered was Kearny. Charlene helped me to sort through the bags of mom's belongings. She took some away to go to thrift stores and for a toy drive.
Mom passed away
Thursday, November 28, 2019
I got a phone call from St. Michael's in the morning. The nurse said that mom's condition was declining and that I should call the doctor. Then, she said that she would ask the doctor to call me. I went about my day at work. While I was in Tai Chi, the doctor called to say that mom appeared to be going into death mode. However, she had done this before. In fact, he said mom had had two teaspoons of apple sauce earlier. He assured me that she was not in pain and was not suffering.
After Tai Chi, Charlene took me to St. Michael's to visit mom. Chris was already there. Mom was wide awake. She looked at us unblinking. Her feet were cold so I massaged them. The physiotherapist had been there and had adjusted mom's legs. After Chris left, Charlene and I stayed a little longer. Usually, mom falls asleep, but today she stayed awake. Charlene mentioned that mom's breath became odd, but that it became steady again. We said good-bye to mom. I told her I would be back tomorrow and we left.
At around 8:30 p.m. Charlene got a call from Chris. I had turned my phone off because the battery was low and my phone was beeping. Chris was frantic because he had gotten a call from St. Michael's that mom had passed away and he couldn't get in touch with me.
Charlene took me to St. Michael's and we said good-bye to mom's dead body. She still felt warm. Her eyes were open and they looked so small. Her mouth was open and I could see her tongue inside. It wasn't a good memory to have.
The nurse gave me a list of funeral homes and told me to St. Michael's. I went home and called the funeral home that I had selected previously. It was on the list. I called St. Michael's to make sure the funeral home had called.
Charlene was with me. She called her mom. Her mom said to call Ethel. Ethel called the relatives and Sumi called friends. I started writing a list of people I had to notify.
I got a phone call from St. Michael's in the morning. The nurse said that mom's condition was declining and that I should call the doctor. Then, she said that she would ask the doctor to call me. I went about my day at work. While I was in Tai Chi, the doctor called to say that mom appeared to be going into death mode. However, she had done this before. In fact, he said mom had had two teaspoons of apple sauce earlier. He assured me that she was not in pain and was not suffering.
After Tai Chi, Charlene took me to St. Michael's to visit mom. Chris was already there. Mom was wide awake. She looked at us unblinking. Her feet were cold so I massaged them. The physiotherapist had been there and had adjusted mom's legs. After Chris left, Charlene and I stayed a little longer. Usually, mom falls asleep, but today she stayed awake. Charlene mentioned that mom's breath became odd, but that it became steady again. We said good-bye to mom. I told her I would be back tomorrow and we left.
At around 8:30 p.m. Charlene got a call from Chris. I had turned my phone off because the battery was low and my phone was beeping. Chris was frantic because he had gotten a call from St. Michael's that mom had passed away and he couldn't get in touch with me.
Charlene took me to St. Michael's and we said good-bye to mom's dead body. She still felt warm. Her eyes were open and they looked so small. Her mouth was open and I could see her tongue inside. It wasn't a good memory to have.
The nurse gave me a list of funeral homes and told me to St. Michael's. I went home and called the funeral home that I had selected previously. It was on the list. I called St. Michael's to make sure the funeral home had called.
Charlene was with me. She called her mom. Her mom said to call Ethel. Ethel called the relatives and Sumi called friends. I started writing a list of people I had to notify.
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