Friday, November 29, 2019
I took the day off. I wrote an e-mail to Japan. I wrote e-mails to friends. I talked to someone at the funeral home regarding details of the cremation. Chris came over around 9:40 and we picked out an urn for mom and a backup. Chris treated me to breakfast. We went to St. Michael's to clean out mom's room. The adaptive clothing, St. Michael's was happy to take. I left other stuff on the counter as well. We had 2 large garbage bags and two smaller bags of stuff.
I gave the Chinese lady mom's pink giraffe. We cried together. I left mom's lap blanket for Jackie. A lot of the staff gave me a hug and I thanked them for looking after mom.
I went to Finance to check and see if there was anything I had to do.
I saw Ming and I gave him and hug and thanked him and burst into tears. Embarrassing. Chris put his arm around me. Chris dropped me off.
Ethel came over with cookies. She read over the contract from the funeral home. Everything looked in order. I signed it electronically and sent it off. I mentioned the part in the contract about not receiving the ashes and Certificate of Death for 10-14 days. It seemed long. I thought the Gotos had their funeral about a week later. Ethel said she didn't remember an urn so I thought maybe a photo would be sufficient.
Ethel talked about how she thought an MC was a good idea. Choices for MC: Frank Seki, Steve Kamachi, Colleen Goto? Ethel volunteered to be a greeter and collect envelopes. I thought Steve would be a good person to make a speech about mom. Charlene could do a speech about mom's history with Sumi and Aunti Reiko. Sumi could sing a song. Ethel thought maybe Carol could pick up sushi.
Charlene came over after dinner. She suggested places to hold the Celebration of Life. She strongly preferred the Queensborough Community Centre. I felt it would take more work to organize something there. We would need audio-visual equipment for karaoke, speeches and a slide show.
The other place we considered was Kearny. Charlene helped me to sort through the bags of mom's belongings. She took some away to go to thrift stores and for a toy drive.
Saturday, 30 November 2019
Mom passed away
Thursday, November 28, 2019
I got a phone call from St. Michael's in the morning. The nurse said that mom's condition was declining and that I should call the doctor. Then, she said that she would ask the doctor to call me. I went about my day at work. While I was in Tai Chi, the doctor called to say that mom appeared to be going into death mode. However, she had done this before. In fact, he said mom had had two teaspoons of apple sauce earlier. He assured me that she was not in pain and was not suffering.
After Tai Chi, Charlene took me to St. Michael's to visit mom. Chris was already there. Mom was wide awake. She looked at us unblinking. Her feet were cold so I massaged them. The physiotherapist had been there and had adjusted mom's legs. After Chris left, Charlene and I stayed a little longer. Usually, mom falls asleep, but today she stayed awake. Charlene mentioned that mom's breath became odd, but that it became steady again. We said good-bye to mom. I told her I would be back tomorrow and we left.
At around 8:30 p.m. Charlene got a call from Chris. I had turned my phone off because the battery was low and my phone was beeping. Chris was frantic because he had gotten a call from St. Michael's that mom had passed away and he couldn't get in touch with me.
Charlene took me to St. Michael's and we said good-bye to mom's dead body. She still felt warm. Her eyes were open and they looked so small. Her mouth was open and I could see her tongue inside. It wasn't a good memory to have.
The nurse gave me a list of funeral homes and told me to St. Michael's. I went home and called the funeral home that I had selected previously. It was on the list. I called St. Michael's to make sure the funeral home had called.
Charlene was with me. She called her mom. Her mom said to call Ethel. Ethel called the relatives and Sumi called friends. I started writing a list of people I had to notify.
I got a phone call from St. Michael's in the morning. The nurse said that mom's condition was declining and that I should call the doctor. Then, she said that she would ask the doctor to call me. I went about my day at work. While I was in Tai Chi, the doctor called to say that mom appeared to be going into death mode. However, she had done this before. In fact, he said mom had had two teaspoons of apple sauce earlier. He assured me that she was not in pain and was not suffering.
After Tai Chi, Charlene took me to St. Michael's to visit mom. Chris was already there. Mom was wide awake. She looked at us unblinking. Her feet were cold so I massaged them. The physiotherapist had been there and had adjusted mom's legs. After Chris left, Charlene and I stayed a little longer. Usually, mom falls asleep, but today she stayed awake. Charlene mentioned that mom's breath became odd, but that it became steady again. We said good-bye to mom. I told her I would be back tomorrow and we left.
At around 8:30 p.m. Charlene got a call from Chris. I had turned my phone off because the battery was low and my phone was beeping. Chris was frantic because he had gotten a call from St. Michael's that mom had passed away and he couldn't get in touch with me.
Charlene took me to St. Michael's and we said good-bye to mom's dead body. She still felt warm. Her eyes were open and they looked so small. Her mouth was open and I could see her tongue inside. It wasn't a good memory to have.
The nurse gave me a list of funeral homes and told me to St. Michael's. I went home and called the funeral home that I had selected previously. It was on the list. I called St. Michael's to make sure the funeral home had called.
Charlene was with me. She called her mom. Her mom said to call Ethel. Ethel called the relatives and Sumi called friends. I started writing a list of people I had to notify.
Wednesday, 27 November 2019
Mom doesn't drink anything
Wednesday, November 27, 2019
Mom is lying in bed at a strange angle. She seems to be sleeping more peacefully. Her mouth is more relaxed than yesterday. She doesn't take any apple juice or Boost. It dribbles down from the side of her mouth. I have to wipe it up quickly. She tries to wipe it herself. Sometimes she opens her eyes and looks at me. She can lift her arm and scratch her head. She is so thin.
Chris came to visit today. He had to wear a mask because he has a cold.
Mom is lying in bed at a strange angle. She seems to be sleeping more peacefully. Her mouth is more relaxed than yesterday. She doesn't take any apple juice or Boost. It dribbles down from the side of her mouth. I have to wipe it up quickly. She tries to wipe it herself. Sometimes she opens her eyes and looks at me. She can lift her arm and scratch her head. She is so thin.
Chris came to visit today. He had to wear a mask because he has a cold.
Tuesday, 26 November 2019
Mom is breathing laboriously
Tuesday, November 26, 2019
Mom was lying in bed. She was breathing with her mouth open. The wrinkles in her forehead were gone, but her eyes were weird so I could tell that she was drugged. At some point, she seemed wide awake so I gave her a teaspoon of apple juice. I didn't see her swallow it. She opened and closed her mouth. Her body was still warm. Her legs were cool, but not cold. Eventually, she seemed to be sleeping. There was an odour.
The aide said that she would be given a sponge bath later tonight.
The nurse said that mom had blood from her bowel and a piece of poo had been dislodged. She had been given an enema.
I cried. But maybe mom will look better tomorrow.
Mom was lying in bed. She was breathing with her mouth open. The wrinkles in her forehead were gone, but her eyes were weird so I could tell that she was drugged. At some point, she seemed wide awake so I gave her a teaspoon of apple juice. I didn't see her swallow it. She opened and closed her mouth. Her body was still warm. Her legs were cool, but not cold. Eventually, she seemed to be sleeping. There was an odour.
The aide said that she would be given a sponge bath later tonight.
The nurse said that mom had blood from her bowel and a piece of poo had been dislodged. She had been given an enema.
I cried. But maybe mom will look better tomorrow.
Monday, 25 November 2019
Mom is in her wheelchair
Monday, November 25th, 2019
Mom was sitting at the dining table when I arrived. Donna, Edward and Jackie were there.
Mom was mostly dozing. I was able to put food in her mouth, but it would trickle out. Heartbreaking. Mom's mouth went slack and I was worried that she had had a stroke. I think she is just heavily medicated. Sometimes she opens her eyes wide. She has wrinkles in her forehead.
Sometimes she seems to wake up and looks like she wants to scream. She moves her arms and her body, writhing and then falls back. Disturbing. Poor mom. I feel as if the end is near.
Mom was sitting at the dining table when I arrived. Donna, Edward and Jackie were there.
Mom was mostly dozing. I was able to put food in her mouth, but it would trickle out. Heartbreaking. Mom's mouth went slack and I was worried that she had had a stroke. I think she is just heavily medicated. Sometimes she opens her eyes wide. She has wrinkles in her forehead.
Sometimes she seems to wake up and looks like she wants to scream. She moves her arms and her body, writhing and then falls back. Disturbing. Poor mom. I feel as if the end is near.
Sunday, 24 November 2019
No Shanta
Sunday, November 24, 2019
Shanta passed away on Friday.
Donna was at the dinner table with Edward. Jackie arrived late. Mom was in bed.
Zorka was attached to her oxygen machine and none too happy.
She tried to escape, but was brought back.
Mom ate and drank about a quarter cup.
I know someone is trying to feed her because I have to pick off food that is in the hollows of her neck.
An aide said that mom scratched her so I put mom's white gloves on her before I left.
Zorka was confused so I opened her closet and showed her her clothing and pointed out the photographs of her husband. Zorka's closet is so neat compared to mom's.
Shanta passed away on Friday.
Donna was at the dinner table with Edward. Jackie arrived late. Mom was in bed.
Zorka was attached to her oxygen machine and none too happy.
She tried to escape, but was brought back.
Mom ate and drank about a quarter cup.
I know someone is trying to feed her because I have to pick off food that is in the hollows of her neck.
An aide said that mom scratched her so I put mom's white gloves on her before I left.
Zorka was confused so I opened her closet and showed her her clothing and pointed out the photographs of her husband. Zorka's closet is so neat compared to mom's.
Saturday, 23 November 2019
Mom ate less than usual
Saturday, November 23, 2019
Mom was in bed and so were Donna and Zorka. Donna and Zorka were both on breathing machines. Donna was throwing up her food. She didn't look good. She was pale.
Mom was angry and feisty.
She drank some Boost, ate some pureed food, drank some apple juice etc. I would say she consumed about 1/2 a cup of food and drink. I gave her a tiny piece of banana.
She had the thigh cushion strapped on correctly for a change.
Both her legs were warm.
I put the headset on her.
At one point she grabbed one of the earbud cords and wouldn't give it up.
Mom was in bed and so were Donna and Zorka. Donna and Zorka were both on breathing machines. Donna was throwing up her food. She didn't look good. She was pale.
Mom was angry and feisty.
She drank some Boost, ate some pureed food, drank some apple juice etc. I would say she consumed about 1/2 a cup of food and drink. I gave her a tiny piece of banana.
She had the thigh cushion strapped on correctly for a change.
Both her legs were warm.
I put the headset on her.
At one point she grabbed one of the earbud cords and wouldn't give it up.
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